Is it my imagination or are there more memoirs today than there were 20 years ago?
The last couple of books I listened to on Audible were memoirs—one about a current celebrity and one about a very rich woman from two generations ago. While we used to call books like these autobiographies, it seems that people who want to tell their story today write memoirs instead. The definitions of autobiography and memoir highlight a distinction between the two, but not enough to quibble over.
In a conversation with a friend about the two recent memoirs I listened to, I mentioned that I had planned to write an autobiography or memoir when I retired. My friend asked me why I had changed my mind. Without hesitation, I responded: “I didn’t want to hurt people who would not want the negative parts of their lives shared. I thought it would be selfish of me to sacrifice the feelings of others to tell my story.”
Why did I want to tell my story? Why do those who write about their lives feel compelled to tell their stories?
When I think about why I wanted to create a book about my life, I want to think that it’s because by sharing my story—that of being an ordinary person who exceeds expectations— others may gain some insights and be encouraged. Stories about transcending obstacles and limitations and triumphs over despair have always appealed to me because they signaled that if someone else could do the extraordinary, then I might also aspire for something more.
Truthfully, I really don’t know why I have felt the need to write about my life. Being an observer and notetaker is just who I am. I like to reflect on what happened, how I felt, and possible meanings of the events. When I read notes or remember the significant and often insignificant events in my life, I think they make a story. Sometimes they make me smile and sometimes they make me sad. These memories are the ingredients that make up my life. I hold them as precious and want to share them generously.
Holding the events of our life as precious is probably a human thing. Wanting to share them with others is perhaps more idiosyncratic. Ultimately, for me, sharing is connecting.
Gwen Dungy 