I have decided to stop saying, “Just be yourself and act natural.”
I realize that hearing this does not always motivate. It can even be devastating when one feels that just being one’s self is not enough.
This is where role models come in. If we think that being our natural self is not enough, who are the people we would like to be like in this situation?
Acting as we think the people we admire would act is still being ourselves. We’re just finding a way to bring this part of ourselves into focus for this purpose. It does not change who we are. Acting as we think a role model would act enhances and burnishes the self that we’re always creating.
Being our best selves by not deliberately deceiving for selfish reasons may be the better part of being authentic.
If we’re guided by a basic human value of treating others the way we would like to be treated or the way they prefer to be treated, I think we can simplify the complex issue of being our authentic selves.
Gwen Dungy 