Author Archives: gwendungy

Embracing Friends and Colleagues

I was just reading an article in The Washington Post about a visit to Northern Virginia by Mata Amritanandamayi or “Amma” known as the “Hugging Saint.” Thousands of people line up and wait for hours to hug her and to be hugged. The amount of money raised from donations for the hugs support a humanitarian organization that builds schools, provides free health care and more. Millions of people follow her and have been hugged.  She continues to hug people for up to twenty-two hours or just as long as the people keep coming. Reading this story of the miracles that people feel as a result of being hugged made me think of something I miss in not being with my NASPA friends and colleagues. What I think I miss most are the hugs.

People who are not in student affairs tease us about always hugging one another. I never let that bother me because there is something special about embracing friends and colleagues. That something may be different for every person just as being embraced by the “Hugging Saint” was about energy to some and unconditional love to others. I have not analyzed what the hugs mean for me, but I do know that I value them and miss them. I leave for the ACUHO-I conference in Anaheim tomorrow and certainly hope that there will be some huggers there.

Navigating Diverse Identities with Students and Colleagues Alike

When I was mid-career, I used to consult with senior educators I admired for their wisdom borne out of experience and what I thought was their infinite intelligence. I hoped that one day I would be seen as one who had such gifts. I also wanted to have a young spirit and not look my age. What I have attained is the age where many younger professionals do seek my opinions and advice on a variety of topics, and surprisingly to me, I have either experienced what is challenging them now or I have some thoughts that they consider pondering.

I found myself wanting to know what others would say that was a cogent and insightful response when a younger professional asked me how best to “navigate” the challenge of holding onto one’s beliefs when one’s job responsibilities ran counter to these beliefs. This professional was referring to the incidences when one’s role responsibilities required advising and supporting the activities of LGBTQ students when one, personally, did not accept the idea of LGBTQ in any form or lifestyle. This young professional declared that they held no negative feelings about individuals who identified as LGBTQ, but the staff person could not, because of their religious beliefs, support the work of the LGBTQ students.

My response was about the ethics of professionals in student affairs and this did not resonate with the person. There was genuine conflict.  What would you have said?

Very shortly after this conversation, I received an email from a friend of a friend who posed the following question: How should one’s religious values affect our approach to our work in student affairs?

André is writing this part of the blog with me. André posed questions such as “At what point do we let our own identities influence our practice?” His conflict was not about how he would work with students. His question rose from how professionals value and devalue other professionals based on their identity with religious values. André worries that he would be discouraged from explicitly or prominently referencing his faith, which is very important to him, because it may alienate students. He asked, “Where do we draw the line between being ourselves and obscuring our identity?” and “How do we confront our colleagues when they do not show the same acceptance and open-mindedness toward their peers as they do their students?” He said, for example, I can be black and gay and not hide these parts of my identity, but I don’t have the same freedom to share my religious identity.  He is puzzled about how professionals relate to one another around these identity issues among themselves. Poignantly, André said that “It’s easier being openly gay in a Christian environment than it is being religious in a Queer environment.”

As our conversation moved forward, André shared that it’s not just religious beliefs, but it’s also political leanings that are not part of the dominant narrative that don’t get shared among colleagues. He reported that a few of his peers who are political conservatives don’t generally express their opinions in group settings due to fear of being outcast.

Do you think we need a conversation among ourselves as student affairs colleagues about how we can all present our whole selves and be accepted and respected? If yes, what are your ideas about how to move this forward? If you do not think that we should give these questions further thought, please share your thinking with us.

Ambassadors…to China, faculty, and beyond…

Some people can’t write because they have what is called “writers’ block.” Fortunately, this is not a problem for me. I have so much I want to write about that it takes me a while to decide on what not to write about. Returning from a two-week visit to China, I have enough material to write about for some time, but I fear I might bore you, so I’ll just give you a taste.

Over the past weeks, I was fortunate to be among colleagues who participated as presenters in the Macau Student Affairs Institute, which was open to student affairs practitioners from all over China. It is believed to be the first such institute of its kind in China. A colleague created the curriculum and invited many colleagues you know (I won’t call names because these folks have not consented to be subjects in my blog) to do a series of workshops for the participants from China.

I learned an inordinate amount about student affairs in China, both from the institute and from my subsequent visits to Hong Kong, Guangzhou, and Shanghai as “Ambassador for NASPA”, as the Chinese dubbed me.

I was truly impressed by the institute participants because they were eager and attentive learners from the beginning to the very end of the two-day workshop in which I participated. They were active learners and they have adopted what they call “total student development.” What I envied was the interest of faculty in student affairs work. The institute included professors from law, psychology, and information technology, all of whom were eager to learn how best to help students reach their maximum potential. It was terrific to have faculty and student affairs staff all working together to support students.

I’m encouraged by my recent experiences with faculty wanting to educate and support the whole student. The day before I left for China, I was making a presentation, along with a former MUFP alum of whom I am so proud, to veterinary medical education doctors about seeing their students through the lens of student affairs. They, too, were eager to support students and to learn what it means to view students from a holistic perspective.

I think our next frontier is to engage with faculty directly in professional development that has heretofore been reserved for educators who claim student affairs as their field. Student affairs practitioners are educators primarily outside the classroom. Why not be ambassadors to academic affairs, working with faculty to use the lens of student affairs in their teaching inside the classroom?

A Tale of Two Commencements

Commencements make spring memorable. During the past three weeks I have attended two commencements. I am humbled to have received an honorary degree at both. The commencements were similar to most in the order of the exercises and the joys of the moment. What was most different about them was the students.

One commencement I attended was for students from the eight different locations of Berkeley College throughout New York and New Jersey. Berkeley College is fully accredited by the Middle States Association and is family-owned. The other commencement was at Mitchell College, a small private institution in Connecticut on the Thames River.

I’m certain that like me, many of you who had the opportunity to sit up close as students received their diplomas were entertained by the choice of footwear among the graduates. At Berkeley College, there were no flip flops or sandals. The women, for the most part, had on high fashion platform, stiletto, or wedge heels, of which the glossy beige pump made famous by Princess Kate Middleton was a favorite. The men had on black dress shoes. Wearing one’s best shoes was important because this was a very special occasion for these students, their families, and their friends.

I think that the demographics of the graduates at these two commencements tell us something, but I’m not clear about the message. In sharing what I saw, I hope you will help me think about what the demographics might mean.

I spoke with a number of students at Mitchell College in order to prepare to give the commencement address. What I learned from these conversations is that the students felt that there was nowhere else they could have received the kind of academic and personal support they needed to complete the requirements for their degree. They said that regardless of their unique needs, the phenomenal faculty and staff always found a way to meet their needs.

I learned that the college has a renowned Learning Resource Center for students with documented learning disabilities, and/or ADHD. It also has a special program called the Thames Academy where students who have completed high school and are not quite ready for college because of a lack of general knowledge or particular learning difficulties or disabilities may experience a residential college where they can receive additional support through workshops and personalized learning plans. Approximately one-third of the students at Mitchell College need additional support.

When the graduates who had to work extra hard to overcome challenges to learning walked across the stage to get their diplomas, the joy was palpable. In one instance, a student who had a mobility disability not only walked across the stage with considerable difficulty to receive her own diploma, but came back across the stage to hold the hand and guide a fellow graduate who had a visual disability.

These graduates were proud of their accomplishments and the faculty, staff, administrators, families and friends were proud of them and, hopefully, felt some well-earned pride in what they had done to support this diverse group of students.

At Berkeley College, the racial diversity was not as apparent, and there were not any visible disabilities among the graduates who walked to receive their diplomas. As I sat on the stage and looked out at approximately 1,200 graduates, what struck me about the racial mix of students was that there seemed to be very few white students. They were definitely in the minority. Most of the faces of the students were brown and black and the last names most often called were traditionally Hispanic or Latino names. The commencement ceremony was held in the Meadowlands Sports Complex in the Izod Center, where even the high bleachers were filled with families and friends, most of which were black and brown.

I don’t know if my observations are the same as the observations you would make, and I’m sure that the conclusions I draw will be different than yours, but I think the demographics of these two commencements mean something. They may be telling us that those most in need of a good public education are choosing to go to private colleges where the costs will naturally exceed the costs of tax-supported public education. I might be wrong, but it seems that there is something fundamentally unfair about this situation. On the one hand, I wish the black and brown students whose families may not be able to afford a private institution would choose a more affordable public institution. On the other hand, I’m happy that there is a private institution that will meet their needs. I do not think that these students and families would choose a more expensive private institution if their local public institutions met their needs.

On the one hand, I am so glad that Mitchell College fills a unique and important niche for students who otherwise might not have the opportunity to achieve up to their potential. On the other hand, I regret that there are so many other students who could benefit from such an environment as that at Mitchell College but they and their families cannot afford to attend. It would seem that a priority of public colleges and universities would be to provide education to all students in their community. The two commencements uplift and encourage me, and they also make me want to do something to make public education more responsive and amenable to the needs of those students who need it most.

Finding Balance…Nails in the Wall Will Have to Wait

On the 36th day of my retirement, I took an hour this morning to just sit and think.  I’ve not slept late one day since I retired at the end of March, and I’ve usually worked at least twelve hours a day on something or another. If you have communicated with me, you have undoubtedly heard me say that I’m busier than I’ve ever been. When I’m asked how I like retirement, I smile broadly and say “I love it, and I recommend it highly!” I do recommend it highly, but I don’t recommend you chase each hour of the day as if it’s your last as I have done.  It has taken 36 days to realize that though my intentions are good, I do not need to do it all now.

It has never been in my nature to seek what we call “balance” in our lives. I’ve always said that my balance comes during that space in time when I complete the current goals and determine the new goals, but that’s just my way of justifying the fact that I have never sought balance in my life. I’ve always had a lot of energy and could not wait to get up in the morning and get moving. That is still the case, yet, somehow I feel as if the pace I’m keeping now is so punishing that I must not feel as if I deserve to rest.

Today, though I won’t stop moving toward my goals, I will look for those quiet moments when I can just be.

I understand intellectually that I’ll do what I do better with rest. Yet, I keep hearing my grandmother saying, “Child never stop; always keep busy. Do something even if it means nailing a nail in the wall and pulling it out.”  I learned that lesson and I keep nailing nails in the wall and pulling them out, and I get a lot of satisfaction from my accomplishments.

Now I think it’s time to create my own tape and delete the message from Mama Bennie. My wish for you, friends and colleagues, is that you succeed at finding balance as soon as possible.

Extracurriculum? Cocurriculum? Role of Student Affairs?

I would really like your thinking on an article I’m writing for the NASPA Journal of College and Character, edited by Jon Dalton and Pam Crosby.  My working title is really long and describes what I want to write about: “Connecting and Collaborating with Students on Self-regulating Behavioral That Promote Academic Success and Further the Intellectual, Civic, and Moral Purposes of Higher Education.”

When I was asked to write the article, the editors used the term “extracurriculum.” When I asked a colleague for thoughts on the subject, in the response the term “cocurriculum” was used and the programs and activities described sounded as if they would complement and support the academic curriculum. 

If the term “extracurriculum” was purposely used, is there a role for student affairs in the extracurriculum to promote academic success and further the development of these qualities of citizenship? Or is the extracurriculum what students do on their own without input from student affairs?

Do you have any examples of student affairs promoting the moral purposes of higher education? Is this something that student affairs dare attempt in a public institution? 

I hear that the work of student affairs is more purposeful than ever before. To what purposes do we in student affairs aspire in contemporary higher education? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Progress

While in the airport to take a flight to Charleston, Illinois, where my alma mater Eastern Illinois University (EIU) is located, I was reflecting on how my two return visits since graduating were beyond anything I could have imagined while a student. My first visit was to receive the Distinguished Alumna Award, and now I was returning to receive the Outstanding Alumna Award (read remarks) from the Graduate School and the Department of Student Development.

The first recognition was the same month and year I became executive director of NASPA, I believe. I remember as part of those remarks referencing how bittersweet the homecoming was. The bitter was reflecting on being a student at the university at a time when I felt neither welcome nor counted. I had the temerity to be there because the courts said I had a right to be there.

This time the visit had no bitter. Only sweet. Two African American graduate students took me on a tour of the campus, and everywhere I looked, there was racial diversity. All students looked as if they belonged at EIU. The progress made helped me think of all the benefits I have enjoyed as a graduate.

May we continue to progress as we serve a new diversity of students, that none might be hampered by barriers, but all might join me in seeing clearly the benefits of higher education…

The “Dependent” Generation?

Sitting in a private dining room at a table with 10-12 students who had been invited to lunch with me by the Dean of Students’ office, I might have thought I was in a reality show that had been heavily scripted because these students loved their school. Yet, I know that the comments were not scripted because of the sincerity of the students and the integrity of the academic community at this small private college in New England.

I thanked the students for spending time with me and, to get them to relax before beginning our discussion, I asked them what they would be doing if they were not meeting with me.  Some of the things they said they would be doing made us laugh, and we were soon ready to talk.  Each student told me their name, year in school, major area of study, and a little about their background. Then I asked them some questions.

As we moved into the conversation, I told them that over the years demographers, the press, and others have attempted to group a generation of students under various labels such as Gen X, Millennial, etc. because the students, as a group, shared some common characteristics.  I asked them what name would they use to describe their generation. There were some interesting suggestions, including “‘micro-organisms’ because of social media, we are always in each other’s face and space whether we choose to have it that way or not.” Another student suggested “dependent,” and all agreed and gave various examples of why “dependent” was the best term to describe their generation. By the way, none of these students saw themselves as “dependent.” All of their examples were from observations of other students.

Interestingly, what these students like best about their college is that it is “so supportive.” They loved their school and could not say enough about the many ways the college demonstrated its support. What became clear to me during these fascinating discussions was that the college’s brand connected with families who knew that their students were dependent and needed a lot of support.

I could give my opinion here, but I think it’s best that you form your own. What do you think?