Category Archives: energy

Life Lessons from ‘The Amazing Race’

Some of us will only see the amazingness of life in retrospect. When we’re running fast trying to grab the brass ring, we are plagued by stress and exhaustion. We miss the amazing moments. It may be only at the final pitstop that we see how amazing our lives have been. If only we had something other than abstract learning to show us how to navigate the waves of our amazing life.

The long-running reality show, The Amazing Race, is full of concrete life lessons. The teams of two face a series of challenges they must complete according to strict specifications as they race around the world. Their goal is to be the first team to arrive at the final pitstop in order to be rewarded with a million dollars. The reward is for the team that wins the last challenge, regardless of how many legs of the race they won. As in life, when presented with a challenge, it’s not what you have done but what you do now.

The struggles and victories of the teams don’t always depend on mental or physical ability. Some say being in the race is like playing the lottery. Sometimes teams are rewarded by serendipitous events that push them ahead. At other times, misfortunes that are no fault of the teams can push them to the back of the pack. This is life.

Following are just a few examples of what to expect in real life that the show so vividly portrays:

  • Begin with a goal (teams want to earn the prize of one million dollars)
  • Believe that you have what it takes to reach the goal (confidence)
  • Study those who came before and learn from their successes and failures
  • Prepare well according to what you’ve learned
  • Be attentive to details along the way   
  • Expect detours, speedbumps, and roadblocks as you advance toward your goal
  • Anticipate that you may be given a U-turn to slow your progress
  • Know what works for you when you need to de-stress  
  • Keep the focus on your own team
  • Never give up on a leg of the race; switch to another challenge
  • Understand that along the way you will have to face your fears
  • Know that when the race is done, you gave it your all

Invariably at the final pitstop, teams talk about the thrill of it all and how rewarding the experience was whether they won or not.

It’s those teams that squeeze the enjoyment out of every experience as they are happening who best understand the amazingness of life.

Keys

I don’t subscribe to the adage that “nothing is ever lost.” I used to lose things all the time. While in college, I lost two coats! Like a lot of people, I’ve lost more umbrellas than I can count and don’t get me started on misplacing things. When I used to misplace things at home, my calm and logical husband was always there to find them for me.

I don’t usually lose things now because I try to be mindful of what I’m doing. Also, I like to establish the kind of habits that relieve me of having to be consciously thinking about where I put the items I use every day. Most things have their place. Now that I’ve downsized, there are a lot of open spaces and flat surfaces where I can easily see things if I’m looking for them. I’ve been feeling pretty content and maybe a little smug about not having the frustration of always looking for something that has been misplaced.

That was until recently…

I have now become preoccupied with retracing my steps and actions to see if I did anything differently on the day that I lost my keys.

For a solid week, I was unable to walk through the house without scanning for the keys. The only thing that was different the day the keys disappeared is that I did have folks in the house doing some work. Coming from a background in which people felt that it was okay to take something that didn’t belong to them, I struggle to keep from thinking that someone deliberately took my keys. I’m going with the notion that the keys are lost or misplaced.

Resolved to think that the keys are lost or misplaced and not stolen did not take away the feeling of anxiousness. I would tell myself to just let it go and feel lucky that I was able to replace the keys. However, I was unable to take my own advice in letting it go. In my desperation, I became irrational in my search. I was looking in places knowingfull well before I searched that the keys would not be there—in boxes and drawers and under everything.

My preoccupation with the lost or misplaced keys became pervasive and a nuisance taking up brain space that I’d rather use otherwise. At the point of exhaustion, I called on my value of reflection. I asked myself what my deeper feelings were—those feelings beyond frustration.

Upon reflection, I was surprised to discover that my deeper feeling was one of distrust. Distrust in myself. How could I trust myself if I couldn’t  keep up with something as simple as my own keys? Acknowledging this feeling gave me permission to allow my feelings of humility to surface.

In this posture of humility, I was able to reflect on what I had done in the past when I lost confidence in the one person that I should be able to trust.

During these times of a crisis of confidence in myself, I slow down. I soften my facial features. I show myself the same empathy and gentleness that I would show someone else who temporarily lost confidence in self. And lastly, I forgive myself for the all-to-human trait of being fallible.

Ahead of Her Time

Anna Julia Cooper

Anna Julia Cooper (1858–1964) put no limits on the intellectual potential of Black people, Black women in particular. Her own intellectual and educational achievements are a testament to her firm belief that women’s opportunities for learning and education should not be less than or different than men based on assumptions about women’s capabilities.

 I’m particularly drawn to the life of Anna Julia Cooper because she did it all: was a leading Black spokeswoman; held leadership in women’s organizations; founded the first chapter of the YWCA Camp Fire Girls for Black girls; served as principal and teacher in the “renowned Dunbar High School in Washington, DC;” started a night school for working people to attend college; and authored a seminal book on Black feminism, A Voice from the South.

Even as she focused her energy and attention on cultivating the potential of marginalized people, she also continued to work on her own education. In 1924, Cooper received her Ph.D. from the University of Paris, becoming only the fourth Black woman in the United States to earn a doctorate degree.

Despite these extraordinary accomplishments of a Black woman born in the South and formerly a slave, what captivates me most about Dr. Cooper is that she didn’t seek attention. Dr. Paul Cooke, one of her biographers, wrote that she chose the “lesser light.”

She was dedicated to a larger cause than herself and refrained from crediting her own achievements. An example of Dr. Cooper’s humility is what Dr. Mary Helen Washington shared in her Introduction to Cooper’s Book in the Shomburg Library Collection of Nineteenth-Century Black Women Writers.

“In 1982, when Louise Hutchinson, staff historian at the Smithsonian Institution, completed her biography of Cooper, she called for an official Smithsonian car and hand-delivered the copy of the biography to Mrs. Regia Haywood Bronson, the eldest of the five children Anna Cooper had adopted in 1915.

“Then in her late seventies, Mrs. Bronson took the book from Hutchinson, and holding it to her breast, she rocked back and forth with tears streaming down her face, but not saying a word. When Hutchinson asked her why she was crying, Bronson said, ‘Nobody ever told me Sis Annie was important.’”

Yes, Anna Julia Cooper was important, indeed, in advocating for social justice and equality of rights for all people and the education of Black women, in particular.  

Living to be 105 years old, she lived to see a celebration of Black History Month and Women’s History Month. She would have been pleased to see the theme of the 2024 Women’s History Month—Women Who Advocate for Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion.

Sources:

Anna Julia Cooper Project: cooperproject.org/about-anna-julia-cooper

Introduction in the Schomburg Library Collection of Nineteenth-Century Black Women Writers: Cooper, Anna Julia. A Voice From the South. (United Kingdom: Oxford University Press, 1988).

Remembering Betty

Since she was always in charge, I’m sure she told Gabriel it was time to blow his horn for her arrival because she had squeezed every ounce of living out of this life and then some at age 96.  

Elizabeth B Rawlins
Elizabeth B. Rawlins

Dean Emerita Elizabeth B. Rawlins of Simmons College mentored countless young people who thanked her by becoming leaders in their fields and role models for those who followed them.

Beyond Simmons College, Dean Rawlins was the sage who guided Black professionals in the National Association for Women in Education (NAWE) as they sought recognition through leadership to have their voices heard and their talents recognized.

To me, she was “Betty”—friend and role model. While I generally respect the day for family privacy, I called Betty at her home in Oak Bluffs on Martha’s Vineyard on Christmas Day 2023.  I could hear the familiar sounds of the family gathering. I could tell by the joy and cheerfulness in her voice that she was elated and ecstatically happy as she told me who was at the house and what they were doing. I could picture the scene, and a feeling of rightness and peace overwhelmed me. I was so glad that I had been led to speak with Betty for what I felt might be the last time.

After we ended our call, I sat for a while and with a smile I recalled good times Charles and I had with Betty and Keith, her late husband, and mutual friends over the years:

  • African Meeting House in Boston
  • Betty’s rolls and Keith’s stuffed mushrooms
  • Inkwell Beach
  • The ferry crossings
  • Gingerbread houses
  • Great seafood
  • Annual Valentine’s Day in Florida all wearing red
  • Fireworks on the grounds of the Episcopal Church
  • Chilmark Chocolates
  • Literary readings on summer nights
  • Trips to Edgartown
  • Oak Bluffs famous-people spotting
  • Art and bookstore browsing

She had it all. She lived her life with confidence. She loved Simmons College and Simmons College loved her back. She loved and was proud of her family. They were proud of her and loved her. She left this life fulfilled.

I’m so grateful to have known you, Betty.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Guest post by Kaaryn McCall

As we start a new year, particularly this new year, it is perhaps good to ask, “Where do we go from here?” The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., began bringing his 1967 Southern Christian Leadership Conference address by that title to a close with the following words we would do well to heed today:

“The road ahead will not always be smooth. There will still be rocky places of frustration and meandering points of bewilderment. There will be inevitable setbacks here and there. And there will be those moments when the buoyancy of hope will be transformed into the fatigue of despair…. But difficult and painful as it is, we must walk on in the days ahead with an audacious faith in the future.”

King’s book of that same title that year was aptly subtitled with the question “Chaos or Community?” This is a choice with which we are always faced and, as we enter 2024 that is, among other things, a presidential election year, and as we near the nation’s 250th anniversary even as some talk of the possibility of a second civil war, I, for one, choose community.

Too often, this can seem like an amorphous concept, so it’s helpful to understand the Beloved Community that was King’s ultimate aim, as reflected in remarks as early as 1956, following the Montgomery Bus Boycott: “The end is reconciliation; the end is redemption; the end is the creation of the Beloved Community.”*

From the religious perspective, King saw Beloved Community as the wholly achievable goal of realizing the kingdom of God on earth, “in which all human beings ha[ve] value in and of themselves, and [a]re subjects worthy of love.” This restored community is the ideal of creation—God’s intention for all of humanity living together in an “inescapable network of mutuality.”

Perhaps more concretely, and from a more universal perspective, this Beloved Community is one in which:

“poverty, hunger and homelessness will not be tolerated because international standards of human decency will not allow it. Racism and all forms of discrimination, bigotry and prejudice will be replaced by an all-inclusive spirit of sisterhood and brotherhood…. Love and trust will triumph over fear and hatred. Peace with justice will prevail over war and military conflict.”*

Achieving such community requires transformation on many levels. In his further remarks following the bus boycott, King noted, “It is this type of spirit and this type of love that can transform opponents into friends. It is this type of understanding goodwill that will transform the deep gloom of the old age into the exuberant gladness of the new age.*

It is important to note that King did not believe Beloved Community would be devoid of conflicts, but that these could always be resolved peacefully,* noting that “true peace is not merely the absence of tension [but] the presence of justice.”

silhouette of the Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr with the words "BUILDING THE BELOVED COMMUNITY" and a colorful illustration with many components, including a river, trees, hearts, stars, hands, people, rainbow, and various decorative elements

So, “Where do we go from here?”

In a world increasingly divided, let us seek to build increasing levels of trust across difference.

In a world increasingly concerned with domestic and international terrorism, let us embrace the fact that “love [is the] most potent instrument available in humanity’s quest for peace and security.”

In a world increasingly complex and intertwined, let us seek to understand the “enemy-neighbor” as more than a given action on their part.

In a world where prejudices continue to manifest themselves, let us seek a true conception of self instead of “self-deception and … neurosis stemming from repressed truth.”

In a world of zero-sum games, let us demonstrate that there is no need to fear one’s own loss when advocating for justice. (As a popular meme puts it, “Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It’s not pie.”)

In a world still plagued with brokenness, separation, suspicion, and deadly conflicts, let us find our points of commonality and shared humanity.

The choice between chaos and community remains for each of us individually and collectively. May this new year and MLK Day be about more than just platitudes. Let us answer the call to action and walk on together not in blind optimism, but an intentional hope and “audacious faith in the future.” Let us not fall into despair as a few loud voices are amplified across various media but recall how far we have come and set forth with renewed purpose to building Beloved Community.


SOURCES

† Hunt, C. Anthony. The Beloved Community Toolkit.

‡ Hunt, C. Anthony. Blessed are the Peacemakers: A Theological Analysis of the Thought of Howard Thurman and Martin Luther King, Jr. Lima, OH: Wyndham Hall Press, 2005.

* The King Center. “The King Philosophy.” thekingcenter.org/king-philosophy


Kaaryn McCall is a communications consultant who, in addition to supporting Dr. Dungy, works with nonprofit organizations across the social justice spectrum to most effectively leverage strategic communications to support their missions. Connect on LinkedIn

Attuning to Ourselves

I wasn’t feeling well and was tempted to stay in bed. By force of habit, I pushed myself to get up and get on with what I had scheduled for the morning, and that included some strenuous exercise. I completed the full hour of the exercise and was whipped at the end.

Usually, I would push myself to move immediately on to what was next on my schedule. But on this day, I took notice of the row of new comfortable-looking black leather chairs outside the space where I had been exercising. No one was sitting on the chairs, probably because—like me—no one understood why they were there and if it was alright to sit on them.  

black armchair in reclined position

I decided to sit on one of the chairs and adjust the back and footrest to my most comfortable position. I relaxed as if I were at home. People who passed looked at me curiously before rushing by to do their exercise routines. As I relaxed and watched people stress themselves with all types of exercises, I began to think about how we are unable to attune to ourselves if we’re in such a rush moving rapidly from one activity to another.  

As I became more relaxed and continued to observe, I wondered how any of us might respond to the question: What would you do today if you knew that today was your last day?

My habit at the beginning of a new calendar year has been to repeat and believe that “the best is yet to come.” I still believe this, but I might behave differently by doing more of what I think I would do if I knew it were my last day.

Dousing the Fires of Inhumanity

I woke up and looked at the clock. It really was 3:00 in the morning. “Oh no,” I thought. “I hope I can get back to sleep.” Because I usually sleep well, I tried to recall my activities from the day and evening to try to figure out what could be causing me to wake up and not get back to sleep.

After about an hour of tossing and turning, searching for the best position to invoke sleep and playing mind games equivalent to counting sheep, my mind was pulled toward the ubiquitous, never-ending negative news stories of the day.

Wars and their devastating physical and psychological human toll and our inhumanity to one another as exhibited through political maneuverings, the cutting cruelty of social media, and random killings, some out of a belief that some people are worthy to live and others are not. As I ruminated about these things, I was overwhelmed by a deep sadness and tears slowly leaked out of the corners of my eyes.

My sadness caused me to think about the title of my website: The F.I.R.E. This Time. Inspired by Baldwin’s The Fire Next Time, the title I chose in some ways reflects my pessimism about us humans.

Though there are ebbs and flows, there is always Fire. Sometimes there are Fires all over the world and little fires everywhere all the time. What are these Fires?

What I call Fires is what David Brooks describes as “the rising culture of dehumanization . . . tribalism, racism, ideological dogmatism, and social media.”  (“A Humanist Manifesto: The world feels like an awful place right now. Here’s how to make it better.” The Atlantic, October 24, 2023.)

Brooks describes dehumanization as “any way of seeing and acting that covers the human face, that refuses to recognize and respect the full dignity of each person.”

Described as such, dehumanization is the root cause of all the Fires. What ignites these Fires is humans thinking that there is only one right way, one right answer, one point of view and other ways of thinking or viewing are wrong or bad and must be vanquished, destroyed, and annihilated.

Some ideas Brooks suggest for conserving humanity that resonate with me are what he calls humanistic wisdom and empathy.*

Brooks shares that it takes humanistic wisdom “to be able to understand one another to some degree, to see one another’s viewpoints, to project respect across difference and disagreements.” If this is all we must do, why do we feel helpless to confront the problems we see and hear about? What can we do as individuals? How can we exhibit humanistic wisdom and empathy?

It’s obvious that we can’t contain world Fires, but we can contribute to dousing the flames of little fires. While even controlling little fires is no easy task, it is something that each of us can do in our everyday interactions, even our casual encounters. Instead of accusing as a first instinct, we can practice the habit of first accepting and hearing.  

An attitude of acceptance and hearing sets the tone for humanistic wisdom and is a meaningful step toward empathy. Brooks’ understanding of empathy is “first mirroring—accurately reflecting the emotions of the person in front of you. Second, mentalizing using your own similar experiences to project a theory about what the other person is going through. Third, caring…. To care, you not only have to understand another person: you also have to perform an action that will make them know that you understand how they feel.”

We should be grateful for the many good people who try to be empathetic by mirroring and mentalizing in their encounters with others. It’s the third part of Brooks’ description of empathy—caring—that is often missing from our relationships with “the other.” If more people could care about “the other” because it’s the humane thing to do, we could chip away at the kindling that keeps these Fires of hate and aggression smoldering and eventually bursting into flames.

Our history demonstrates that there was fire last time, and sleepless nights cause us to ruminate on the fire this time. Sadly, if there are not more demonstrations of humanistic wisdom and empathy, there will undoubtedly be Fire the Next Time.

word cloud in shape of two hands reaching toward each other with primary words in one being "I HEAR YOU" and "CONNECT" and the primary word in the other hand being "EMPATHY"

*In fact, the FIRE in the title of my blog is an acronym that’s long been a touchstone for me, of which ‘empathy’ is a component, so I guess I’m not entirely pessimistic. Following are the components of the acronym:

  • Fate/Faith
  • Integrity/Initiative
  • Reflection/Respect
  • Energy/Empathy

What the “Fantastic” Thing Is All About

Guest blog by Laurence N. Smith

Since Gwen Dungy’s fantastic blog about me, I have heard from several former colleagues who just wanted to say hello and catch up, and some who wanted to know what the fantastic thing was all about. Among the callers were some who asked what I thought would be the best advice to a new or aspiring student affairs vice president. And since my daughter, a prominent business consultant, unknowingly to me shared Gwen’s blog with some individuals in her network, it opened the door for a few who asked for advice for their own future success.

My first vice presidency was at Chicago State University in 1969. At 29 years of age, I was the youngest administrator by many years. Times were difficult, and especially difficult for students of color who comprised 80 percent of the student body!

Among students, faculty, and administrators there existed a downbeat atmosphere concerning just about everything. The president was focused on bringing in new young talent to change that condition. The litany of what was wrong with the University was a long series of frustrations. I learned very fast never to ask my colleagues, “How are you?”  

It was then that I decided that when anyone asked \how I was that my reply would be “fantastic.” I realized that in the culture of the University it was an unusual reply. I decided to make it even more energized to have greater impact. The simple “fantastic” was replaced by a vigorous “FAANTASTIC!”     

In the early years the reply shocked people and opened the door to exploring change when they asked me why I felt fantastic. It didn’t affect everyone, but even those who thought it was an over-the-top reply were curious why I felt that way or wanted to test if I was in touch with reality.  It enlarged the view and discussion about the University.

Where it had the most significant impact was on students.  For student leadersthe student newspaper reporters and editors, the captains of athletic teams, and others—my feeling fantastic helped them feel fantastic. It fostered a new level of enthusiasm and discussion about the opportunities that were ahead if they embraced the efforts necessary for getting a college degree.   What they experienced, they shared.  It caught on.

And when I became vice president for university marketing and student affairs at Eastern Michigan University, it had the same impact. 

It still sparks curiosity and engagement. Try it out for yourself. When you are asked, “How are you?” respond “fantastic” or “FAANTASTIC.” No matter who you are and what you do, it still works.


Laurence N. Smith is a founder and Senior Partner of New Campus Dynamics with 40 years of experience as a senior university administrator and as a national leader in higher education. He is emeritus Vice President for University Marketing and Student Affairs at Eastern Michigan University. Among his extensive activities, he was founder and chair of the NASPA National Academy for Leadership and Executive Effectiveness and executive editor of NASPA’s online management magazine. In 1999, he was named a NASPA Pillar of the Profession, and in 2002, he was the recipient of the Fred Turner Award for Outstanding Service to NASPA, the equivalent of a Lifetime Achievement Award in the student affairs profession.