Category Archives: Leadership

Notes on a Napkin

Twenty-three years ago—once again finding myself in a restaurant eating alone, a consequence of traveling around the country to be among members in their regions and to make speeches on various subjects—I often jotted my musings on a napkin.

On one such napkin, I wrote about what I wanted to say at the association’s business meeting as an introduction to reporting on the statistics and successes since the last annual meeting:

“We have to attend to the demographics of the profession to insure that what we as an association offer is relevant not just for today and today’s members, but for the future and tomorrow’s members. Student affairs and other support services are projecting the largest number of retirees within the next 5-10 years that the profession has experienced.

“Our challenge is to meet the needs of professionals up and down the demographic ladder. We can do this by broadening our definition of diversity among our membership to include age, gender, race, socioeconomic factors, and different perspectives.

“We need good people who are eyeing retirement to remain active in the profession as mentors and sages. We must find a way to capitalize on the gifts and legacies of our retiring professionals.

“At the same time, we need to look to mid-level, new and potential professionals to rejuvenate the field and the association. Determining what they need from their professional association is a particular challenge. In addition to meeting their professional needs, we want the talents they bring to move the association forward.

“We need to help the burgeoning number of mid-level professionals to assume leadership roles. What is the best way to show them that we need their participation and leadership to accomplish our vision?

“One of our tasks is to emphasize the power of leading from the middle.”

From what I can glean, as an outsider today, the association has been successful in bringing to fruition what were notes on a napkin a long time ago.

White empty napkin and pen on gray background

Invisible Leader

There was once a woman, in a land far away, who made a New Year’s resolution about how she wanted to best serve the organization for which she was given the privilege of being executive director.

While membership increase and satisfaction were always at the top of her mind, she wanted to move forward with intention on what some called leading-edge innovations. She wanted to play a role in helping the organization realize its potential.

When she was oriented to her position, it was made clear that she was not to think of herself as the leader representing the organization. She was staff in service to the board who represented the membership. Her role was to carry out the wishes of the board.

After being in the executive position for a while, it became clear to her that in addition to carrying out the directives of the board, she—in collaboration with volunteer members and the staff team—had an incredible opportunity to move the organization forward in ways that would meet members’ needs and be good for higher education.

On the occasions when she ventured beyond the boundaries of how the board envisioned her role, she was chastised and directed to pull back and stay within the bailiwick of what one in her position had always done. She was to keep the mechanics of the machine running smoothly.

These cautions and restrictions puzzled her because colleagues in similar roles were not only allowed visibility but encouraged and rewarded for exhibiting leadership. In her heart, she knew that those who hired her did so because they saw that she wanted to fly and had the determination and courage to test the power of the organization.

After moving forward and often standing up without permission, she eventually learned that in her position, if she wanted to survive, she had to shape-shift depending on the characteristics of the board as a whole and the agendas of specific members of the board.

When there were board leaders who had vision beyond merely maintaining the good standing of the organization, she knew that it was possible not only to claim the organization’s tag line, but to realize what it meant to be the leading voice for student affairs in higher education.

With these forward-thinking leaders, there were test flights into the unknown. Invariably, following such visionary leaders, however, there would be new leaders who thought they had a mandate to rein her in and ground her before there were future flights. They feared that there was too much change too fast.

 They thought that there were too many innovations, too many new partnerships outside of student affairs, too much attention to seeking grant support, and a need to be careful about positioning the organization in areas that other organizations had traditionally had a role.

Dismayed but not discouraged by these attitudes, she had faith that what, at times, seemed like the curse and most difficult part of her role was also the best and saving grace. Unlike many organizations with board members who had long tenure, members of her board rotated off in two-year cycles—except for the chair who, given their role as part of the executive committee, served for an additional year. She counted on leaders with whom she could work in partnership to help the organization move toward its highest potential.

In the end, it was not about being seen as a leader. It was about keeping those new year’s resolutions. Being the invisible leader worked just fine in this land far away.

Leaving Your Mark

Recently, a friend and I went to see the play Hamilton. Like so many others, we never tire of the experience. For us, the musical does not lose its luster no matter how many times we see it. Whether it’s on Broadway or in the desert, we love it. There are so many songs and so much dialogue that just become a part of us. After this recent show, the song that stuck in my mind was Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story.

Innumerable biographies tell stories of extraordinary people who leave great and lasting legacies as a result of their talents, activism, and contributions to the uplift of humankind and to the sustainability of life as we know it. These legendary people leave their mark through acts that become a part of the history of the world. Their impact is usually broad and powerful.

One does not have to die famous to leave a mark. Not all people who leave their mark are widely known and celebrated. Ordinary people also leave their mark. A brief obituary does not mean that the deceased did not leave their mark.

Leaving your mark is not always about the number and magnitude of notable public contributions. It’s not about the number of people who knew about you. Your circle may be small including a few friends and relatives who will remember you and the influence you had on them. Leaving your mark is the impact you had on others, no matter the number or magnitude.

During an interview for Esquire, renowned author Stephen King, said that he would like to be known “as somebody who died merry—who did his work the best he could and was decent to other people.”

With this statement, the author left his mark on me because he put into words my heart’s final desires.

Still Thinking About Being Authentic

I have decided to stop saying, “Just be yourself and act natural.”

I realize that hearing this does not always motivate. It can even be devastating when one feels that just being one’s self is not enough.

This is where role models come in. If we think that being our natural self is not enough, who are the people we would like to be like in this situation?

Acting as we think the people we admire would act is still being ourselves. We’re just finding a way to bring this part of ourselves into focus for this purpose. It does not change who we are. Acting as we think a role model would act enhances and burnishes the self that we’re always creating.

Being our best selves by not deliberately deceiving for selfish reasons may be the better part of being authentic.

If we’re guided by a basic human value of treating others the way we would like to be treated or the way they prefer to be treated, I think we can simplify the complex issue of being our authentic selves.