Category Archives: reflection

At the Right Place at the Right Time

Posted on March 28, 2024 by | Leave a comment

It doesn’t take a retrospective view for me to know that I’ve often been at the right place at the right time. I thought of this recently when I was concerned about having enough time to get across town for an appointment. As it turned out, I was lucky that I had not gotten on the highway when planned because I would have just been stuck in traffic until a disabled vehicle blocking the ramp at my exit was removed. A small thing, but I was where I was supposed to be at the right time. I was taking care of my prior business rather than sitting in traffic waiting to exit the highway.

These days, even when small plans don’t turn out just the way I intended, I stop to search for and acknowledge the good that comes from being in that place at that time. I have found that attempting to force things to happen the way I want them to at the time I want them to happen often leads to undue frustration and regret. Allowing the unexpected to reveal the prize inside has been one of the most important lessons I’ve learned and one of the many joys of my life.

In my youth and adolescent years, when I had little control over my care and conditions, I now know that the circumstances that prevailed during these times instilled in me the desire to push harder and the resilience to reach higher. Role models—both positive and negative—provided examples I needed in order to become a caring and responsible adult. The years of wanting to be in some other place with different people and longing to be anybody but myself instilled within me the kind of empathy that has become a lifelong value. Although I didn’t think it then, I now know I needed to be in those places during those times.

When I think about the jobs I have had during my long career, it is evident to me that opportunities were realized when the time was right and I was ripe for the position. Graduating from college with a bachelor’s degree in English and a master’s degree in counseling, I was not optimistic about my chances of a full-time job doing what I wanted to do. I had no desire to teach after a negative experience as a student teacher. I desperately wanted to be a counselor and knew this would be the right career for me.

After three years of teaching, one of the counselors in the high school where I was teaching went on maternity leave and I was asked to take the role during her absence. Getting out of the classroom and into the counseling office was a “sweet Jesus” moment for me. I felt ready for the role of counselor. I knew that I was at the right place at the right time.

As it turned out, this short stint in the role of counselor opened the door for my next position. Moving to a new city to support my husband’s desire to get his MBA, I had no prospects for a job as a counselor.

As luck would have it, the local community college was less than ten minutes from our house. As I’m remembering it now, it was a Saturday, and I may have been out running errands. On a whim, I drove to the college, walked into the administration building and asked the front desk if there was anyone in the counseling office.

I was directed to the second floor of the administration building. The only person in the office was the Director of Counseling. I explained that I was new in town and was curious about community college counseling since I had a degree in counseling. The Director and I had a nice conversation and during our conversation the Director let me know that he was looking to hire a counselor and I should consider applying for the position.

I served as a counselor at this community college for the next ten years. There is no doubt that I was at the right place at the right time.

I think many of us have these same moments. For me, these moments are precious gifts for which I’m always very thankful.

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Posted in fate, initiative, reflection

Remembering Betty

Posted on February 29, 2024 by | 1 comment

Since she was always in charge, I’m sure she told Gabriel it was time to blow his horn for her arrival because she had squeezed every ounce of living out of this life and then some at age 96.  

Elizabeth B Rawlins
Elizabeth B. Rawlins

Dean Emerita Elizabeth B. Rawlins of Simmons College mentored countless young people who thanked her by becoming leaders in their fields and role models for those who followed them.

Beyond Simmons College, Dean Rawlins was the sage who guided Black professionals in the National Association for Women in Education (NAWE) as they sought recognition through leadership to have their voices heard and their talents recognized.

To me, she was “Betty”—friend and role model. While I generally respect the day for family privacy, I called Betty at her home in Oak Bluffs on Martha’s Vineyard on Christmas Day 2023.  I could hear the familiar sounds of the family gathering. I could tell by the joy and cheerfulness in her voice that she was elated and ecstatically happy as she told me who was at the house and what they were doing. I could picture the scene, and a feeling of rightness and peace overwhelmed me. I was so glad that I had been led to speak with Betty for what I felt might be the last time.

After we ended our call, I sat for a while and with a smile I recalled good times Charles and I had with Betty and Keith, her late husband, and mutual friends over the years:

  • African Meeting House in Boston
  • Betty’s rolls and Keith’s stuffed mushrooms
  • Inkwell Beach
  • The ferry crossings
  • Gingerbread houses
  • Great seafood
  • Annual Valentine’s Day in Florida all wearing red
  • Fireworks on the grounds of the Episcopal Church
  • Chilmark Chocolates
  • Literary readings on summer nights
  • Trips to Edgartown
  • Oak Bluffs famous-people spotting
  • Art and bookstore browsing

She had it all. She lived her life with confidence. She loved Simmons College and Simmons College loved her back. She loved and was proud of her family. They were proud of her and loved her. She left this life fulfilled.

I’m so grateful to have known you, Betty.

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Posted in energy, Higher Education, initiative, integrity, Leadership, Race & Ethnicity, reflection, respect, women

Where Do We Go From Here?

Posted on January 11, 2024 by | 1 comment

Guest post by Kaaryn McCall

As we start a new year, particularly this new year, it is perhaps good to ask, “Where do we go from here?” The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., began bringing his 1967 Southern Christian Leadership Conference address by that title to a close with the following words we would do well to heed today:

“The road ahead will not always be smooth. There will still be rocky places of frustration and meandering points of bewilderment. There will be inevitable setbacks here and there. And there will be those moments when the buoyancy of hope will be transformed into the fatigue of despair…. But difficult and painful as it is, we must walk on in the days ahead with an audacious faith in the future.”

King’s book of that same title that year was aptly subtitled with the question “Chaos or Community?” This is a choice with which we are always faced and, as we enter 2024 that is, among other things, a presidential election year, and as we near the nation’s 250th anniversary even as some talk of the possibility of a second civil war, I, for one, choose community.

Too often, this can seem like an amorphous concept, so it’s helpful to understand the Beloved Community that was King’s ultimate aim, as reflected in remarks as early as 1956, following the Montgomery Bus Boycott: “The end is reconciliation; the end is redemption; the end is the creation of the Beloved Community.”*

From the religious perspective, King saw Beloved Community as the wholly achievable goal of realizing the kingdom of God on earth,† “in which all human beings ha[ve] value in and of themselves, and [a]re subjects worthy of love.”‡ This restored community is the ideal of creation—God’s intention for all of humanity‡ living together in an “inescapable network of mutuality.” †

Perhaps more concretely, and from a more universal perspective, this Beloved Community is one in which:

“poverty, hunger and homelessness will not be tolerated because international standards of human decency will not allow it. Racism and all forms of discrimination, bigotry and prejudice will be replaced by an all-inclusive spirit of sisterhood and brotherhood…. Love and trust will triumph over fear and hatred. Peace with justice will prevail over war and military conflict.”*

Achieving such community requires transformation on many levels. In his further remarks following the bus boycott, King noted, “It is this type of spirit and this type of love that can transform opponents into friends. It is this type of understanding goodwill that will transform the deep gloom of the old age into the exuberant gladness of the new age.*

It is important to note that King did not believe Beloved Community would be devoid of conflicts, but that these could always be resolved peacefully,* noting that “true peace is not merely the absence of tension [but] the presence of justice.” †

silhouette of the Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr with the words "BUILDING THE BELOVED COMMUNITY" and a colorful illustration with many components, including a river, trees, hearts, stars, hands, people, rainbow, and various decorative elements

So, “Where do we go from here?”

In a world increasingly divided, let us seek to build increasing levels of trust across difference.†

In a world increasingly concerned with domestic and international terrorism, let us embrace the fact that “love [is the] most potent instrument available in humanity’s quest for peace and security.”‡

In a world increasingly complex and intertwined, let us seek to understand the “enemy-neighbor” as more than a given action on their part.‡

In a world where prejudices continue to manifest themselves, let us seek a true conception of self instead of “self-deception and … neurosis stemming from repressed truth.”‡

In a world of zero-sum games, let us demonstrate that there is no need to fear one’s own loss when advocating for justice. (As a popular meme puts it, “Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It’s not pie.”)

In a world still plagued with brokenness, separation, suspicion, and deadly conflicts, let us find our points of commonality and shared humanity.

The choice between chaos and community remains for each of us individually and collectively. May this new year and MLK Day be about more than just platitudes. Let us answer the call to action and walk on together not in blind optimism, but an intentional hope and “audacious faith in the future.” Let us not fall into despair as a few loud voices are amplified across various media but recall how far we have come and set forth with renewed purpose to building Beloved Community.

SOURCES

† Hunt, C. Anthony. The Beloved Community Toolkit.

‡ Hunt, C. Anthony. Blessed are the Peacemakers: A Theological Analysis of the Thought of Howard Thurman and Martin Luther King, Jr. Lima, OH: Wyndham Hall Press, 2005.

* The King Center. “The King Philosophy.” thekingcenter.org/king-philosophy

Kaaryn McCall is a communications consultant who, in addition to supporting Dr. Dungy, works with nonprofit organizations across the social justice spectrum to most effectively leverage strategic communications to support their missions. Connect on LinkedIn

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Posted in energy, faith, guest post, initiative, integrity, Leadership, Race & Ethnicity, reflection, respect

Attuning to Ourselves

Posted on January 4, 2024 by | 1 comment

I wasn’t feeling well and was tempted to stay in bed. By force of habit, I pushed myself to get up and get on with what I had scheduled for the morning, and that included some strenuous exercise. I completed the full hour of the exercise and was whipped at the end.

Usually, I would push myself to move immediately on to what was next on my schedule. But on this day, I took notice of the row of new comfortable-looking black leather chairs outside the space where I had been exercising. No one was sitting on the chairs, probably because—like me—no one understood why they were there and if it was alright to sit on them.  

black armchair in reclined position

I decided to sit on one of the chairs and adjust the back and footrest to my most comfortable position. I relaxed as if I were at home. People who passed looked at me curiously before rushing by to do their exercise routines. As I relaxed and watched people stress themselves with all types of exercises, I began to think about how we are unable to attune to ourselves if we’re in such a rush moving rapidly from one activity to another.  

As I became more relaxed and continued to observe, I wondered how any of us might respond to the question: What would you do today if you knew that today was your last day?

My habit at the beginning of a new calendar year has been to repeat and believe that “the best is yet to come.” I still believe this, but I might behave differently by doing more of what I think I would do if I knew it were my last day.

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Posted in energy, reflection

Unselfconscious Unfiltered Thoughts and Feelings

Posted on December 28, 2023 by | 1 comment

My trove of handwritten journals was rich with details of day-to-day happenings and interactions. The feelings I had when I wrote them were memorialized in my heart and bones. Sometimes I had to take a break from reading them because the visceral reactions were more than I wanted to re-experience.

When I wrote my journals by hand, my engaged emotions helped me see my inner self—that soft place that needed protection. I didn’t judge myself for having unpleasant emotions. As I wrote about the interactions or situations that caused these emotions, I allowed myself to feel merciful toward the “me” that only I understood.

These journals showed me that believing in myself was the kind of faith inculcated within me since I was a very small child. During my middle years, I would have been completely lost without this bedrock faith. In my journals, I recorded how my beliefs in the greater good sustained me time after time.   

It was in my handwritten journals that I thanked God for those I encountered who had a generosity of spirit and showed warmth when I needed it. It was in these handwritten journals that I was honest about my limitations and worked hard to be objective and fair in observing others and, more importantly, my responses to them. The real learning and change came from being wholly with myself in reflection and humbleness.

When I switched to keeping my journals online, apparently, I did not trust the medium with my deepest thoughts and tender feelings. For some reason I found myself not sharing my secret voice. In reading excerpts from my digital journals, it’s clear that I was not using them as a source of self-reflection. My journals became one dimensional. I recorded what can be thought of as a public record of what was happening and when.

My epiphany is that journaling is not simply the words recorded; it’s the meditation and process of writing one’s unselfconscious unfiltered thoughts and feelings.

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Posted in empathy, faith, Identity, integrity, reflection

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The Generosity of Christmas Spirit

Posted on December 21, 2023 by | 1 comment

I love the tiny lights and decorated trees of Christmas. Recently, I took a journey through Charles’ and my photos, looking at the various Christmas trees we had over the years.

I remember our first tree. My mother was visiting us from Chicago. Although the tree had few decorations and was small, it was beautiful because it was our first.

As we were admiring our tree, my mother asked, “Where is the angel or star that goes on top of the tree?” Without a word, Charles left the room and came back with a photo of me. He held the photo up to the top of the tree and said, “Here is the angel that will be on the top of our tree.”

That was the moment that my mother fell in love with Charles. From that point on, every time she was with us at Christmas, she recalled the time that Charles put my picture on top of the tree.

Over the years, our trees gradually improved in scale and beauty. Many of the ornaments were made by our son, Dan. Other ornaments were ones we collected through our travels. It always took hours to decorate the trees because we had to tell the story of the ornaments every time.

As much as I love seeing the trees, the photos that give me the greatest joy are the ones in which Dan is opening a gift that he really wanted and, from the surprise and joy in his reaction, he didn’t think he was going to receive. I think most of us cherish that precious moment when we have fulfilled someone else’s wish.

My hope is that you will have your wishes fulfilled, whether material or emotional, and you will experience the warmth and amazement of knowing that you have made someone else happy through the generosity of Christmas spirit.

Illustration of Christmas tree comprised of words in shades of red and green. The trunk has the words "The Spirit of Christmas" with the tree topped with a red star and comprised of the words LOVE, FAMILY, BLESSINGS, TRADITION, GIVING, HOPE, PEACE, WONDER, JOY, MEMORIES, MAGIC, RAITH, CELEBRATION, LAUGHTER, HUGS, LIGHTS, GOOD FRIENDS, WARMTH

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Posted in reflection

The Inspirational Six, Part 1: Venerable Pierre Toussaint

Posted on December 14, 2023 by | 1 comment

Guest post by Joann Stevens

In a series of posts, I’d like you to meet six Black Catholics from the 19th and 20th centuries on the road to sainthood in the global Catholic Church: Venerable Pierre Toussaint; Venerable Henriette DeLille; Venerable Augustus Tolton; Servant of God Mary Lange; Servant of God Julia Greeley; and Servant of God Thea Bowman. Ordinary people inspired by faith to serve the Common Good, they helped build and transform American Catholicism, advanced a democracy they couldn’t enjoy, and upheld Jesus’ commandment to “Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12).

Inspiration can be hard to find when celebrity and socioeconomic status define influence more often than character. But sainthood is an equalizer. Saints inspire people of all faiths or no faith. Saints are rarely sexy, beautiful, rich, or celebrated. They endure hardship, poverty, and social rejection. They sacrifice their bodies— sometimes literally, more often figuratively—to serve as agents of God’s righteousness and unconditional love. Saints don’t wear Chanel or Brioni but lift the spirit higher than a well-cut garment as they model essential elements of humanity: Love and Hope.

Pierre, Juliette, and Euphemia Toussaint as painted by Anthony Meucci, 1825
Pierre, Juliette, and Euphemia Toussaint as painted by Anthony Meucci, 1825

Venerable Pierre Toussaint (1766–1853) took his surname from the Haitian general Francois-Dominique Toussaint Louverture, a Black enslaved person turned enslaver turned slave liberator. Venerable Pierre Toussaint was trained as a house servant in his native Saint Domingue (Haiti). He was taught to read and write in French and English and had free reign of his enslavers’ library. Along with his sister Rosalie, his aunt, and two others, Toussaint arrived in New York in 1787, the property of Jacque Berard who had fled the Haitian rebellion with his family. Berard returned to Haiti to secure his property but died there of pleurisy in 1791, nearly destitute.

At the time, the United States was facing its first financial crisis. Although enslaved, hardship seemed to sharpen Toussaint’s resolve and entrepreneurialism. Apprenticed as a hairdresser, his success enabled him to support the Berard family and household, caring for Berard’s widow, Marie, until her death in 1807, after which he gained his freedom. Toussaint’s success also enabled him to purchase the freedom of his sister—whose daughter he would adopt upon Rosalie’s death—as well as the freedom of others who were enslaved. Among those was Juliette Noel, a Haitian woman Toussaint married in 1811. That same year he bought a house in Manhattan to shelter Black orphans and teach them trades.

Hairdressing was Toussaint’s profession, but his intellect, faith, and love for humanity established his character.  In addition to working more than 12 hours a day dressing hair, followed by household chores and community service to feed the hungry and nurse the sick, Toussaint was a daily communicant of St. Peter’s Church on Barclay Street, attending Mass at 6:00 a.m. He served the public another 36 years after gaining his freedom and was known to quote from the Sermon on the Mount in French. “The Beatitudes seemed to have found a way into his heart,” wrote his first biographer.

Toussaint inspired all who knew or heard of him. His clients were elite society women. Among them the wife and daughter of Alexander Hamilton. They welcomed him into their estates, sought his counsel and admired his kindness, piety, and charitable works. Many were Protestant socialites like Mary Anna Sawyer Schuyler, a close friend who called him “my Saint Pierre.” Under their patronage, Toussaint earned as much as $1,000 a client annually at a time when the average annual salary was $65.

Pierre and Juliette Toussaint spread their philanthropy widely and diversely, creating a credit bureau and employment agency to help Black people and support the resettlement of Haitian immigrants to New York; founding the First New York City Catholic School for Black children; helping raise funds for Elizabeth Seton’s Sisters of Charity to open an orphanage in New York City even though it only served White children; funding the nation’s first religious order of Black nuns, the Oblate Sisters of Providence; providing aid for retired priests and destitute travelers; and contributing to the founding and building of St. Patrick’s Church that became St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

As his health failed with age, friends pressed the elderly Toussaint to retire and enjoy his success. He responded, “I have enough for myself, but if I stop working, I have not enough for others.” His last recorded words, two days before his death, were, “God is with me.” Asked if he wanted anything, he replied, “Not on this earth.”

Pierre Toussaint died at age 87, two years after his beloved Juliette. Friends and media praised this man defined by his faith, heart, and character and not external circumstances.

An act of racism once barred Toussaint from attending the St. Patrick’s Church he helped found. In a testament to God’s grace and remembrance of Toussaint’s servanthood, Cardinal John O’Connor arranged for Toussaint’s reinterment in 1959 to a vault under the altar of St. Patrick’s Cathedral on Fifth Avenue. He is the only layperson buried among bishops and cardinals.

Sources: George Washington’s Mount Vernon, Ten Facts About the American Economy in the 18th Century; Archdiocese of New York; Archways, the online Magazine of the Archdiocese of New York; Cathecist Cafe. 

Joann Stevens is a freelance writer and program specialist promoting unsung and unknown African American jazz, faith, and cultural innovators who have influenced democracy and racial justice for the Common Good.

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Posted in faith, guest post, initiative, integrity, Leadership, Race & Ethnicity, reflection, respect

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